Clearing the Mind Weeds in a Counselling Profession

Response- energy utters Perls, is a mis utilize word. It means the ability to respond the ability to be a hot, to timbre, to be sensitive. (GTV, 100). It does non mean obligation. It doesnt mean duty. Duty- what is that at least? One commission or a nonher, it is most(prenominal)thing that Ive been directed to do with flummox forward inquire why. I do it automatic all toldy, without accepting duty for my actions. This was the trait that saw me d unitary the travails in my bread and exclusivelyter where I moved from letting otherwises be c sanguineitworthy for me to taking responsibility for myself. Perhaps this is what motivated me to pursue my goals without relying too some(prenominal) on my family imaginations.I wise(p) early on non to assign the piddle of my mien to my pargonnts or my past or even the wealth of my family. In the process I learned this most important revalue of responsibility that kept me grounded and helped me in my studies and turn over. Ho wever, it was non an favourable journey. I lav non consider my brio as an extraordinary this world had ever had. Each mortal has a story to tell and I must regulate mine is non really something different. While some people sp final stage their lives with lots of colourise around them, some vertical do not and as frequently as I hate to admit, I spent m any(prenominal) long time of my disembodied spirit belonging to the arcminute group.I go with flow and that has alship fecesal been the case. It goes this way I k late I motivation to attend school and so I did. I befuddle to do well in school or else I provide suffer from all the criticisms the usual criticisms. It is never easy to live in other peoples expectations to the shew that it is what they call for that drives you. It is your body under their headsprings. I empennage straight off imagine how pitiful that was. All the plot, though, I do not regard I was as inspired as the rest of the class was. I di d not net lots of friends from school. No big deal But there were multiplication when I also deal with thinking of the reasons for the empty brio.Those days would usually end with me readyting no answer than It must be me Although I accognition the fact that each of us has our protest cast of p readererences and all the while, I lived in the thought that I righteous prefer to live my biography like this l ily, detached, al peerless. It was tiring when you c ar for no one and much(prenominal) when no one c bes for you. In a way, my opinions harbor been departd because I assume learned to create a balance in obeying orders. It was there where I learned that there is blind homage that ignores all rationality and obedience based on freedom.Those involved in a transaction are independentthey flowerpot bye away from the deal if they dont like whats happening. And vindicatory as they are free to leave, they are also free to stay. In fact, if one is not free to walk away, he is not free to choose to stay. Some of my own discoverers indeed helped me develop a sense of competence and love of learning. Though some helped me remember my own directions and make my own discoveries, others taught me to follow orders and not pick up interrogative sentences. If I had tolerable teachers who cared much about their authority than about my growth, I probably would have left hand school more a zombie than when I entered.I learned that to the stage that Ive been conditioned in ways that block my process of growth, I act like a robot. Something happens upright me and I respond. No time for choice, between the stimulus and the response. Im reacting entirely to preprogrammed instructions in my memory. In examining the idea of obedience in the context of my schooling, I remember the officiates of authors Darymple and Milgram who provided two school principals of views. In doing so, I got several insights peculiarly when I began examining the idea of the authors in the execution of orders.In the cartroad of my study, I was able to gain where the authors were coming from in their pursuit of obedience. I have learned that if I indirect request to increase my king of authority, I buns develop and cultivate my honor rather than sympathizek honors, status, course credit and praise. Others volition honor me when they kat once that not only do I have the capability to do what is necessary, I execute it in boon and honor. I started my sustenance as an advocate of science and technology. Yes, my first layer was Bachelor of Science in Mechanical technology.I used to get interest with bump throughs science gets to offer all those inventions and advances in technology. Awesome constrict outstanding Breath-taking Fantastic All those praises Nothing can beat the olfactory modality of having invented something out of secret code. Or the olfactory property of be the one to drastically mend the flowing state of something for the benefit of people around the globe it is ceaselessly live up to But who could tell it was not really a travel of my own choice? I was one of those high school graduates who do not really know what they want to happen in their lives.And so, without any cross basis, it was Bachelor of Science in Mechanical engineer that I finishing up with. I was cognizant of the good future day this knit has to offer. I have known of lots of people who have succeeded in this career who took up this course. I, at least, had this driving force to continue with my study. uncontaminating full to push me to strive harder and harder. I just told myself I need it or else I w stricken end up with nothing. Looking at my design career, I know that I took risks that I was willing to take. They were statements of who I am and who I am not.We can almost never know enough to be sure what is going to happen as a gist of what we do. We can only guess, assume and expect, with varying degrees of cer tainty. At this moment, under these circumstances, with knowledge I have now, I make my choice. I live with its results. The conditions of my life today are the result of choices I do yesterday. E very(prenominal)one blows it now and then. If I think clearly and act as honestly and wisely as I know how, thats all I can do. We cant help some of our suffering, just now some propagation we ourselves create the rest.Now, I have learned to take my afflictions and my half-successes as a normal leave-taking of life. My errors and defeats sometimes teach me more than my successes. In an important sense, they are not failures at all. In the process, I learned interdependence. Interdependence selects, What can we do and be together? Interdependence asks the synergy head word. It is not external but the power that focuses intragrouply. It relies on the capacity that people have within themselves to be tougher on themselves, to push themselves harder when they are subsuming what they wa nt in the cause of something thats greater.Ultimately, thats what sacrifice is all about openhanded up what I want now for what I want the most. Giving up what does not matter as a great deal, for what matters more. sometimes the take of the few are sacrificed for the needs of the many. Sometimes the sacrifice is just the reverse, and the needs of the many can ledger the needs of the few. The needs of the few are worth the sacrifice and load of the many. Self-control, demonstrated in a group setting, is very powerful. Each person fundamentally says, I bound myself to it, because it is the right thing to do. Many love learning but they do not always like universe taught.It requires humility. It requires recognition, first within and then to those who would teach you. It was at this phase of my life where I learned to be a true leaderone who is not afraid to learn new things and try out new ways of doing things. When a leader says one thing, the effect is intent perceive a nd execution. The art of earreach which I learned well at this point enabled me to come to the other person in terms that they understand, because I now approach them from their frame of reference, their relishs, wants, and needs. Indeed, true leaders are able to unite with people well.I started my career as an advocate of science and technology. Yes, my first degree was Bachelor of Science in Mechanical Engineering. I used to get fascinated with breakthroughs science gets to offer all those inventions and advances in technology. Awesome Hale great Breath-taking Fantastic All those praises Nothing can beat the feeling of having invented something out of nothing. Or the feeling of being the one to drastically improve the current state of something for the benefit of people around the globe it is always satisfying But who could tell it was not really a career of my own choice?I was one of those high school graduates who do not really know what they want to happen in their lives. And so, without any particular basis, it was Bachelor of Science in Mechanical Engineering that I ended up with. I was aware of the good future this field has to offer. I have known of lots of people who have succeeded in this career who took up this course. I, at least, had this driving force to continue with my study. Fair enough to push me to strive harder and harder. I just told myself I need it or else I will end up with nothing. Description of a tuition Event in Listening and Being Listened toI remembered an incident that was the bout point in my career. When I read the book on give instruction only Love, I knew that I precious to shift my course. I treasured to go into Counselling. in that location was something about the book that touched the innermost being in me. I wanted to shift my profession from Mechanical Engineering to Counselling Studies. These are far apart degrees and, yes, I did not verify myself engaging in counselling. No, not even in my wildest dream. B ut this is not a dream. Yes, I am living in veracity and the reality is that this is the vocation of choice. This is where I hold myself, my heart.This is where I belong. It is true what the magical book says that it is from your past where you draw your present. If not for the thousands of rejection, if not for the feeling of inferiority, if not for the omit of self-confidence, I do not really think this book would have as frequently effect on me as it had. I was so excited about it that I immediately told it to my best friend. I knew he would understand me more than anyone else. As I was telling him of my decision, I could see that he was acquiring listless. I saw him debaring my eyes as presently as I uttered those words.I could not nibble him. We both dreamt that we would finish the course and here I was bowing out on him. aft(prenominal) a while, I responded, Youre smouldering. he says, Why would I be angry? I was sure that my friend was angry but resisted cunning his own fury because of his personal values in which arouse is a wicked emotion. I knew that there was resistance to acknowledge this since he was scared of losing control, unable to think of himself as angry because of our friendship. He seemed to be communicate his anger on me at that moment and I could feel it so strongly.In a way, I was able to gently tell him how he weighs and sounds which made him aware and he then began to spill about his anger. At that very moment I felt like a real captain counsellor. I was able to gently guide him about his feelings, even if I was unsure of what to say at all. I knew that if I uttered the rail at words, he will walk out on me. But I gently drew out his feelings then. I tried to help him break out of his sullen, angry depression. Finally, he suggested that he punch a prepare pillow bunched up in a corner of the couch in a corner of the student lounge. There were a few students around.He did not wait for my reply. He started punchin g, harder and harder, until he was breathing fast and deeply, feeling the relaxation. He did this several times, while I sat quietly, finally remarking on how much different his calculate lookedsmoother, less tense , not so red under the eyes. He countered how clear his mind seemed, that it was the first time in several days that he really felt relaxed. I managed to ask him if those punches were meant for me because I was planning to compound courses. He said, he thinks those were more of his angry feelings because he was obligated to take up Engineering when he wanted to go into the arts.In an instant, I empathized with him. I knew how it was like to take up something where ones heart was not on it. He then began to talk quietly about his father, and how he wanted him to take up Engineering instead of Speech and Drama. After a minute or so of that conversation, I asked, How do you feel now? He was beginning to feel tense and angry again. The object lesson for him was (1) the nee d for physical release for his anger, and (2) the totality of control his thoughts exercised over his feelings (Ellis, 1966). The hearts yearningThe pent-up feelings seem to come mainly from either of two frustrations, my classmate was having feelings and thoughts which appear to be enormous, odd, scary, and feeling cut off from other people because of his own inferiority with our other classmates. I have learned from this incident that catharsis is frequently not enough. At some point in the helping process, the understanding, which comes with a overcareful analysis of anger, whitethorn be healing. My classmate was able to see his anger in the context of internal polarity or affair, between desire for freedom and a sense of duty, and be liberated by the understanding.The nice descriptions of the anger see to it helped my classmate by removing excess frantic baggage. acumen is curative, but most frequently, both thickening and counsellor will find additional action useful to manage anger. For me, this action is intervention, helping my classmate trade attitudes about each of our decisions. It was a poignant moment I would never forget. I knew he wanted to lash out his anger on me. Although I appeared to be so passive all the while, in my heart I know I long for something. That something, however, is unknown.I do not know if I am just one those people who stimulate wanting something they do not exactly know what or look for something they do not know, for sure, if existent. fundament you just imagine how if feels to be in the dark? Be somewhere without any clear direction? They say that every little thing just takes a little of getting used to. Oh, well, probably, as I seemed to have been used to the feeling of being lost. It was woeful but true. Despite the lack of light in my life, I never questioned the existence of the Great Someone Up There. I short know he is there. I do not recall how practically I scream for His help.Maybe not that of ten but, of course, I do. I do and in my heart, I know I am not essentially alone all the while. However, there are moments when I tend to question the number and quantity of challenges facing me. There seems to be an imbalance in load allocation. How come I felt so lost while others follow certain direction? How come I do not know what I want in life while others are so certain of what they want in theirs? How come I do not seem to possess enough reason to be glad and complete. I often envy happy and satisfied people, I must admit but I do not harm to them. I just envy them, that is it.And more often than not, I offer I were in their shoes. In all the insecurities I have inside, there were times when I ask myself if this is something I caused. What is that something I failed to do? What is that something that I can probably change to make a difference? What could be scatty? I have hear of success stories about people who started with nothing and ended up having the life they hav e always dreamed of. Can I not be one of them? My c one timern is never monetary. I did not wish for the whole world. I just want a piece of it a piece of it where I can enjoy life to the fullest.I did not ask for extravagant things. What would a loner do with those? I doubt if anybody could really enjoy everything alone. I did not wish for fame. I have lived my life not having the attention of the whole world. I just want some compassion and feeling of belongingness. I did not wish for power as I have never ever seen myself mandating others or controlling the world. It could be that I long for power but that power is the power to appreciate and enjoy life, the power to make people see me as a sensible being worth the company, the power to afford to the real things in this world.In short, I was never a materialistic type. There are things I lack from within and that is something I longed for to fill in. I used to have a very narrow view of things in life. I exist. I have to live. I have to survive. I used to find the question, What am I here for? or Why do I exist? as cliche that should have been buried decades back. accrue on You are here because you are here and there is just nothing you can do about it It is not a paradox needing solution. It is just a situation that you have to live with. You are left with just two options either you continue to exist or you end your own existence.Is that something needing some sort of profound thinking? Life is as plain as that. You just have to go with the flow. The True artistic creation of Listening Counsellors can provide instruction in observing and listening by making these skills an integral part of their ongoing activities. The dominant mark of observing and listening activities are often tolerate for poor readers or students in the primary vagabonds. To believe that all students will learn the corresponding things at the same time, at the same rate, and with the same degree of property is sheer fantas y.In almost any classroom at any grade level, the range of students abilities, interests, talents, knowledge, previous experiences, personalities, learning styles, dispositions and needs is so great that it is staggering. This winsome of individualized instruction has resulted from efforts to make teachers more responsive to individual students and their instructional needs. Activities that focus on observation skills emphasize things that children can observe things that can include objects, behaviors or processes. Teachers need to adapt a curriculum appropriate to the needs of the students.Some of the best teaching resources for students with these kinds of learning difficulties are those teachers have create themselves. Teachers could build most of the student activities. This will go into refiningthat is, they will be tried out with students and then revisedbut once essential, they can become resource to be used in future years. Before teachers can duplicate an activity, it w ould also be wise to percent it with someone he/she can rely on for honest feedbacka colleague, or a fellow student teacher.One is almost certain to find that what one thought was perfectly obvious is not, and thus gain a chance to make appropriate adjustments before trying it out with ones students. It is best to start small and then build the compendium of materials slowly and steadily. Responsibility in everyday life From then on, aft(prenominal) realizing the implications of these theories, I began to take responsibility for my life now at work and beyondwhich involves self-management competency. Often, when things do not go well, people tend to blame their difficulties on the situations in which they find themselves or on others.I have learned that effective self-management does not fall into this trap. Self-management competency includes integrity and ethical claim and personal drive and resilience. I agree with what Jay Greiner posits about the reason why it is most diffi cult to take personal responsibility for mistakes. It is because one feels exist and insecure. The word responsibility itself is a misused word. More than postponing automatic assumptions, Perls, the famous psychologist sees growth as a move from letting others be prudent to taking responsibility for oneself.Education in todays environment will be successful if we formulate activities that are engaging as much as they are educational, and if we adapt to new technologies that will help equilibrise classroom interaction. I have further learned that drive and resilience are especially important when someone sets out to do something no one else has through or when that person faces setbacks and failures. The responsibility aspect which Jay Greiner negotiation about will spur more insights about ethical dilemmas that prepare at all levels in the business world. mint, whether employer or employee, may face situations in their work or dealings with other people in which ethical dilemm as arise. The individuals in these cases are faced with ethical questions in their relations with customers, employees, and members of a large society. More often than not, the answers to these questions are difficult because it involves measure of values. Conflicting values in a given situation are not capable of compromise. One has to choose one over another. Sometimes, the ethically correct course of action is clear, and hopefully individuals act accordingly.But the answers are often not simple. The dilemma is most commonly presented when ethical concerns come into conflict with the practical demands of business. This is related to the proper obedience and responsibility that I discussed earlier. knowledgeable how to negotiate and persuade people would be very essential for the pull ahead of my future career. Through interactions with various kinds of people in a likely workplace, I get to know particular complexities of people and use this to a good advantage. I believe tha t an effective leader is a sentinel and a team builder.As pathfinders, he has to descry needs and accommodate the coherent needs and wants of all stakeholders by clarifying Vision, Context, Direction, Location, Goals, Strategy, Purpose and Pace (Business Ethics). As team builders, he has to help others achieve as they create healthy, good conditions for risk taking, help others become leaders, provide resources and be a resource themselves, help some move from dependence to independence, help others get things done and help determine how people work together.In the course of my experiences as a leader in the fields I have chosen, I have come to understand how my social environment wants me to be, and why, I can more wisely choose which people and events in my environment I want to make a part of me, and which ones I dont. Conclusion In summation, in order to become the person I want to be, I need to continuously identify my core competencies. Skills are to be developed according to the genuine needs and not merely based on generalities and perceptions. Work-based learning will address this concern by integrating actual experiences and practices in developing new knowledge about the organization.Today, I now know that practice and theories must be merged together (Sill, S. 1958). People can overcome barriers to effective communication. They must first be aware that barriers exist and can cause serious problems. Then they must be willing to invest the effort and time necessary to overcome the barriers. Learning is a lifelong process. If I operate with the assumption that I do not have all the answers or insights, I allow myself to value the different viewpoints, judgments and experiences others may bring.Sometimes I cannot help but think how my life would have turned out had I stayed in the comforts of my home, not taking risks or venturing into the pursuit of my goals. In small ways, I may not even recognize that I do contribute to larger events that happe n in this world. If anybody would ask me now if I regret giving up my first degree to pursue counselling, I will answer, The sad past led me to a wonderful today. Every bit of failure and pain did not really lead me to regretting anything because in each of those, I learned. And in each of those, I grew not just as a person for myself but as a person for other people. And now, I no longer find the question, What do I live for? mushy. I can tell, with chin up, I live for others to appreciate their lives. I do not just exist. I live. I continue to learn through others with high hopes and belief that they also learn from me. As I act, others may take heart and be stirred to action too. But if I waited for things to just happen then in the comforts of my own home, I would have probably be doing things automatically without any awareness stark of the colorful life I have led ever since I made my choice to be responsible and independent and not debase my ability to do things for mysel f. Part IIPortfolio Counsellings Role in Education The theories learned in the course is revealed as I look at it deeply and as I ponder on the experiences I had about the listening process and being listened to. What comes to be more subsisting to me now is the issue on soul. I learned that to be truly effective, the counsellor must have a thorough understanding of human beings behavior and be able to apply that understanding to the particular set of problems. For a moment, I knew that my experience with my friend was what I really wanted. This was actually what counsellors do with their knobs. And I knew that I had the aptitude for it.In a way, it occurred to me that what I was doing at that moment was like the Person-centered approach which authors Embleton and colleagues (2004) were talking about. At that point I knew the person-centered approach was an effective model for both counselling and psychotherapy especially living in a complex world. (Embleton et al. , 2004). Di agnosis and the hypothesis-generating are lively and inevitable parts of the counsellors work. To understand human behavior means to have a set of concepts and theories that help to account for and condone significant human reactions and relate them to experiences.These concepts and principles provide the core for the counsellors diagnostic work. Counsellors use their understandings to talk to themselves about their own behavior as well as the concerns, actions, perceptions, emotions and motivations of their clients. With no system, counsellors have nothing to say in their conversations. Counsellors who comprehend the role that an understanding of human behavior serves in their work, and who recognize the proper function of diagnosis, will work very hard to avoid the pitfalls in this area. It is part of their ethical responsibility. How can I help? As I uttered those words, I remember Higdons work on From Counselling Skills to Counsellor Psychodynamic Approach, because it gave me a new understanding as he began talking. It was as if I was listening with another ear, able to comprehend the emotions butt end those words and what he was really saying. (Higdon, 2004). So, I was able to cope with it well. Initially, I was about to call it quits. I had my own issues to attend to. But it dawned on me that his desire to punch the pillows was his desire to remove the cobwebs in his own mind about what he really wanted to pursue.When I really heard him, and listened to him from the heart, I understood that it was his own feelings that he was wrestling with. (Higdon, 2004). Catharsis is often not enough. At some point in the helping process, just as in this example, the counsellor must take advantage of a pause, the completion of some part of the session, or an explicit expectation of the client to help him move to a greater understanding of his anger and finally to some new action or attitude. Ellis proposition that the way we think has a lot to do with the way w e feel.Recently, I am reminded of the fashion pursued by Meichenbaum (1974), which have very broad applications as a total system of therapy, and is particularly useful with clients whose anger shows righteousness or defensiveness as the dominant component, and many find it by far the most useful long-term approach. These theories became alive as I underwent that experience with my friend. How does it work? Ellis (1966) presents the basic paradigm to clients (a) A stimulus takes place in your life (b) you interpreted it in some way and (c) you have an unpleasant emotional response (anger).Ellis Rational Emotive Therapy intervenes in the process at the second step, the interpretation, which, he says, comes from a faulty way of looking at life, a system of illogical thinking. The therapy consists of re-educating the client to think in a healthier, more appropriate way, by helping the client dispute the faulty thinking. This is the point at which many counsellors balk, because to keep at a resistant client with this kind of re-education requires a lot of conviction, ingenuity and persistence. There is a perverseness that seems to want to keep the anger.One sees it in the client who resists the helpers efforts to teach the ways his or her thoughts of being unjustly treated serve to confirm the anger. There comes a time in many helping situations at which the question is appropriate Do you want to give it up? And the question If you give up the anger, what else do you have to give up? Sometimes clients will say, Yes, I want to give it up. But I cant Some clients will say, Yes, I want to. Help me discover it out. Some will say I want to stop being so angry, but I dont want to give it up altogether. Some will say, No. No, I dont really want to give up. Regardless of the answer, having the client state it explicitly usually puts the counselling at a stage to consider more accurately and profitably the realities of the clients aims. If the client asks for help, the counsellor is in good position to offer the resources of his or her ingenuity. If the client wants to stop but not altogether, the counsellor can point out to the client that equity and its implication That is your truth are you willing to take what comes with it? If the client does not want to give it at all, the counsellor can take that as a statement of the clients goals and ask how he can help the client work through the implications of the anger and how to minimize the ill effects of it. In sum, an important precept here aside from Understanding is Client Change. I believe that the ultimate purpose of the counselling experience is to help the client achieve some kind of change that he or she will regard as satisfying.Virtually every significant theory of counselling states that creating some kind of client change in a growth-enhancing direction is the ultimate intended outcome of the counselling experience. Some say overt behavior change is the sine qua non of the experie nce. Others say that behavior change is simply symptom change real and lasting change comes when the client develops new perceptions about self, significant others and about life. This is what was glaring from this experience. Client change is often difficult to document. Behavior change, if it occurs, is probably the easiest to observe because it is the most tangible.However, clients may also change their views about certain behaviors that they previously regarded as unenviableor they may change in the extent to which they experience filter out related to an unwanted life situationor they may change in a variety of other ways that involve internal experiencing. In spite of the difficulties of assessing some kinds of change, it seems that a counsellor who cannot describe the changes that the client ahs undergone has no basis for knowing when counselling has reached and effective conclusion. REFERENCESCenter for Strategic and planetary Studies 2002, What is globalization? Retriev ed Feb. 2, 2007 at CSIS Globalization 101 WEBSITE on the World wide-eyed Web http//www. globalization101. org/globalization/ Business Ethics. Retrieved Feb. 2, 2007 at http//www. amazon. com/gp/reader/0130797723/ref=sib_dp_pt/104-1829689-6709521reader-page Ellis, A. (1966). Rational-emotive psychotherapy. New York J. Norton. Embleton,Tudor,L. ,Keeras,K. ,Tudor,K. ,Valentine,J. and Worrall,M. (2004) The Person- centred ApproachA Contemporary Introduction.LondonPalgrave Higdon,J. (2004)From Counselling Skills to CounsellorA Psychodynamic Approach,BasingstokePalgrave Macmillan. Leading Quietly. Retrieved Feb. 2, 2007 at http//www. amazon. com/gp/reader/1578514878/ref=sib_rdr_ex/104-1829689-6709521? %5Fencoding=UTF8&p=S00Q&j=0reader-page Meichenbaum, D. (1974). Cognitive behavior modification. Morristown, N. J. General Learning Press, Perls, F. (1975). Growth in the Human Personality. New York New York Julian Press. Sill, S. (1958). Leadership Salt Lake City. Bookcraft, 48.